Martha's Kitchen

Love and discipline. It sounds like two weather fronts colliding. Our culture does not ordinarily link discipline to love. After all, as the popular thinking goes, love is something outside of one’s control. Is it not a feeling, an impulse that carries us along like the incoming tide? Discipline. Isn’t that what soldiers and athletes need if they are going to win battles and compete successfully? The resolution of these seemingly contrary virtues is found in the heart and life of the Savior of the world. It was God’s love for a fallen world that makes salvation from sin possible (Jn. 3:16). This love was no mere warm feeling. It revealed itself in the action of giving the perfect life of the Son of God for sinful people. Discipline is a choice that is made in the eternal best interest of hell-bound sinners. The same can be said regarding God’s particular, effective, selecting love toward his elect.” Jesus prayed, “I glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished the work which Thou has given Me to do” (Jn. 17:5). The sufficient and efficient atoning work of Christ on the cross was accomplished through sacrificial, discipline-guided love. It is by this sublime model that we who are the children of God (“born ones of God,” 1 Jn. 3:1) know how to wed love and discipline in our personal lives. Because we love God we will make decisions that carry out our love for God and one another. Love fuels the exercise of discipline. The way in which we order our lives, establish our priorities, and make our decisions is through a love-driven process. We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is foundational for all day to day living.

The life of the Christian who is committed to God and his local church is filled with a multitude of opportunities and responsibilities. There are those who remain content with being pew-warmers, but those who don’t want to waste their lives look for ways to serve God. Here is the rub. We love God and discipline ourselves to show that love, but where do we draw the line in how much we do? A church that is alive with people eager to fulfill the Great Commission of Christ will have a lot of things that need to be done. We must keep the following principles in mind as we serve in the life of our church family.

Time is a valuable gift. It must be used wisely. Pray for wisdom which is practicing the skill of living life God’s way. We can’t rely on our natural instincts, personality, or upbringing. God’s Word has to inform us, not what our natural habits may dictate. A husband and wife must work together in the “unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3). Signing up for child-care, class attendance, etc. must not be done at the expense of the other spouse. Pray about it. Discuss it and come to a mutual agreement. A decision made by one marriage partner is going to impact the other. Are you asking him or her to make a sacrifice without consent? There should be seasonal and time-of-life considerations. Certain times of the year are especially busy (e.g. Thanksgiving to Christmas). Plan ahead and do what you can to shrink the surprise gap. Are you newly married? It is best not to get overly committed during the first year of marriage. Do you have a quiver full of small children? Don’t try to live like you are single. There will be things you can do after the children are older and more independent. The physical condition of various family members may alter scheduling commitments. Poor health will dictate some limitations. Don’t assume everyone in the family has the same energy level that you do. Those who are on medication or who have to deal with chronic pain must be mercifully considered if you are attempting to plan their life for them.

Sacrifices for Christ’s sake will be a part of our decision making and commitments made. Are we willing to relinquish our rights for the sake of others (e.g. free time on Sunday afternoon or evening)? Teaching a Sunday School class for a quarter will mean some study time during the week. Helping with a youth outing as a chaperon may mean a little less sleep to be replaced by the rewards of encouraging young people to follow Christ. Personal sabbaticals are necessary in the routine of life. We need rest, a day off, and some diversion in the midst of the demands of life. Some people can emotionally and physically “crash and burn” due to a lack of relaxation and physical restoration. Our spiritual gifts require use if they are to be developed. If you have the gift of helps, are you helping? If you have the gift of administration, are you involved in organizing some area of church life? We don’t have to know what our spiritual gift is before we start to serve. Start serving and it will become evident as to how Christ has equipped you for ministry in the body of Christ. Do not take on responsibilities out of a sense of guilt or as an attempt to escape from other commitments. Beware of performance based Christianity. We can’t make God love us more, if we do more. You will not prosper financially and be healthy simply because you do something special for the church. A volunteer spirit can become contaminated by legalism. God cannot be bought or bribed by our good works.

Don’t over commit and miss the more important things. This is called the “Martha syndrome.” Jesus had to remind Martha of the importance of spending time with Him (Lk. 10:38-42). She had become irritated and grumpy because she thought Mary, her sister, was taking advantage of her. The Lord and His Word must be given priority, even our loving service for the Savior. Our zeal for good deeds must not crowd out our worship time, hearing God’s Word alongside our church family. Helping to set-up and clean-up for the fellowship time after the morning service and having guests in our homes are necessary, but must not become a “Martha’s kitchen.” Everyone must pull his or her own load. Yes, we are to each bear our own burdens (Gal. 6:5), but we simultaneously are to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2). One way this can be fulfilled is by taking part in child-care so others can worship and pray with their brothers and sisters in Christ. Singles and empty-nesters are not exempt from the congregational vows to work with parents in bringing up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

Learn the biblical skill of balancing life’s demands. There are circles of priorities that every believer has to know. God is to be at the center of our life. Then through a series of concentric circles with God at the core of all things, “He can potentially touch each and every area of me as a person (self, world, family, church, work, government) . . . This takes priorities off a list and wraps them around a life (God).” Balancing Life’s Demands, J. Grant Howard. Wisdom is acquired over months and years of learning how to apply the Scriptures to every area of life. Its rewards are sweet.

Don’t assume a responsibility and then complain about it (Phil. 2:14). Complaint is a symptom of dissatisfaction with God. Israel griped at every difficulty she encountered when leaving Egypt and moving through the wilderness. This eventually led to the chastening of the Lord and an entire generation’s forfeiture of the joy of entering the Promised Land (Ex. 17:2; Num. 14:16). Problem-solving discussions are helpful but grumbling is a malignancy that fosters discouragement and joyless Christian living. Deny it a place at the table of your thoughts.

If we really love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength we will want to serve Him in our local church. But there is a trap into which we may fall. Teaching, sitting with the 2 and 3 year olds, serving on the youth committee or missions team, helping with AWANA, attending the Bible Institute, and the host of other good works must not become infected with a “worried and bothered” attitude. We all have our own “Martha’s kitchen.” But don’t banish the “good part” which is hearing and obeying Christ’s Word.

Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church