The Making of a Mother

Are mothers born or made? In some sense mothers are born. God has created women to bear children with the included necessary psychological and emotional “wiring” to nurture and rear children. This of course does not mean that all women will be mothers or that all mothers will be good mothers. Nature alone is not enough to endow a female who bears children with the qualities needed for effective motherhood. Other things must be in place to ensure godly mothering. No greater privilege is bestowed upon a human being than the opportunity to give birth to an immortal soul and influence that child with biblical truth. More specifically, to be able to teach one’s child about God, impart divine wisdom, and exemplify Christ-exalting living is quintessential mothering.

How then can a mother be made to fulfill such a noble task as godly mothering? A godly mother must be conceived in the womb of the new birth. The one who is to conceive life within her must be born of the Spirit of God. This new birth that comes from God is not the result of human effort but is the product of the Holy Spirit. Motherhood without God is possible but is not good. There is too much at stake. The brush with death in giving birth, time and energy given on behalf of others, and mothering a future generation is without eternal value if Christ is shunned.

A godly mother is made by a mother who is godly. The best start in life is one that grows and develops under the watchful loving eyes of a mother who knows God and passes on His truth in the Bible to her children. Were you brought up by a mother who loved Christ and who taught you the Scriptures from infancy? If so, rejoice and aspire to do the same for your children. This kind of intergenerational spiritual linkage bears consequences for thousands of generations (Ex. 20:6). A godly mother is also made by having a father who knows his heavenly Father. Fathers, do you have a daughter? Meg Meeker in her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters has said that “daughters who spend more time with their fathers are less likely to drink, take drugs, have sex as teenagers or have out-of-wedlock babies.” Yes fathers, your time with your daughter matters greatly both in its quantity and quality. Daughters need dads who live for Christ.

A godly mother is made by being around older women who are devoting their remaining years to the display of inner beauty (1 Pet. 3:4; Tit. 2:3). Older women in the church who embrace life as an opportunity for sacred service to God, who use their tongues for encouragement rather than injuring others, who do not allow chemical dependencies to become a substitute for dependence on God, and who are committed to passing on the truth of God as it has been woven into the years of their experience are a rich treasure for mothers to be and mothers in the making. The work of a mother is not finished when the nest is empty. There are younger women who desperately need older women to whom they can look and see how to live God’s way.

A godly mother is made by knowing older men who are blazing a trail that is worth following (Tit. 2:2). Older men who are clear and discerning in their thinking, worthy of respect, self-controlled, rock-solid in their faith, who know how to love and to live with their hope set on heaven can make an incalculable contribution to the way mothers-to-be think about manhood. A mother in training needs an example of what true masculinity is like for it may be part of her task to rear a son for God.

A godly mother is made by learning early in life the value of displaying the precious jewelry of Christian truth (Tit. 2:4-5). The church working in concert with the family has a great work to do. Young women have to be taught how to express love to their husbands and children. As has already been pointed out, older women in the congregation must rise to the occasion and offer guidance in how to be committed to the spiritual welfare of one’s husband, in showing interest in what he does, and how to be his helper. Infants and small children are cute. But with that established there is a lot of love-work that has to be done. Children are self-centered and if left to themselves will bring heartache to their parents. They have to be taught what love is, how to get along with others, the importance of self-control, respect for authority, knowledge of the Scriptures, and how to make decisions. The mother who wants to be a God-pleaser needs guidance in how to lay out life’s priorities, in not being ruled by emotions, and how to develop a theological mind. It is this kind of jewelry that is to adorn the mother after God’s own heart.

A godly mother is made by understanding that outer beauty without inner beauty is a monstrosity (Prov. 11:22 “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.”). The world brings great pressure to bear on young girls. It would have them believe that facial cream, make-up, clothes, a model-like figure, and beauty to die for are what define femininity. Let the man beware who wants a godly mother for his children. The man is caught by looking at the gold ring and failing to see the pig. What is the pig? It is that women who is morally flawed and relationally defective. The young girl who wants to grow up and have children of her own would do well to live by the truth that beauty is only skin deep. What really matters is having a heart that radiates love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Now that would be a mother that would make any son or daughter proud.

A godly mother is made by being savvy as to the degree of moral corruption that exists in society. To be spiritually ditsy is no laughing matter. The mothers of tomorrow need a Christian world and life view that makes them able to see through the smoke and mirrors of modern thinking. Multi-culturalism, the internet, the theory of evolution, and a host of other concepts and issues require a biblically razor sharp mind. A godly mother is made by refusing to be a self-satisfied woman, but instead has an insatiable appetite for God and His Word. In an age where the god narcissism rules (having a love-affair with oneself), a mother who is running hard after God will not preen herself on the latest fashions, hair-styles, or linger long in front of the mirror. She does not neglect her appearance and health, but her primary concern is to know the Scriptures and how they apply to her life.

A godly mother is made as she prays for, respects, and is devoted to her husband. She will not grow weary in the well-doing of submitting to her husband in the Lord and delights in the opportunity to exemplify the way Christ’s church submits to Him. By doing this she lives out gospel truth and gives her children an everlasting portrait of God’s redemption in Christ. A godly mother is made by valuing her children as gifts from God. She views them as made in the image of God, but because of sin are in need of God’s forgiveness. The early morning finds her in faithful intercession before God for those for whom she is responsible.

A godly mother is made by becoming an authentic worshiper of God. Her children must see her standing along side other believers in Christ singing the songs that extol God and the wonders of His salvation. A confusing message is sent to sons and daughters when their mother would rather stay at home and watch television than giving herself in ministry and encouragement to others on the Lord’s Day. But her worship doesn’t begin and end on Sunday. The whole of her life is a praise response to God’s mercy and grace to her. Her worship of God on the first day of the week is matched by her kindness on Tuesday.

Is it your desire young women to be a mother one day? Do you know what it takes to be a godly mother? Now is the time to set out on that journey. It will not be easy, but it will yield heavenly rewards that will echo throughout eternity. This would be a good time for all mothers in the making to renew their heart’s desire to exalt Christ. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Prov 31:30).

Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church