Singleness: Gift or Curse?
From my earliest memory, the thought of describing singleness as a gift has always seemed to me the most oxymoronic (with greater stress on the moronic) of qualifiers, on par with having the gift of two left feet or the gift of premature grey hair. Like that Christmas present that your relative thrice removed sends every year—you don’t know what it is, but whatever it is you know you don’t want it—the gift of singleness has oft been delegated as either untouchable or interminably misunderstood in our churches.
Paul’s conception of singleness detailed in 1 Corinthians 7, however, paints a much different picture of the gift of singleness. One in which celibacy, far from being placed in abeyance, is given center stage. Paul leaves no room for doubt. His single status is to be envied above all others (v 7). What about the woman who has just lost her husband and is free to remarry? She, in Paul’s estimation, will be happier if she remains as she is (vv 39-40).
Perhaps the greatest discovery hidden in Paul’s words is that singleness is a gift you can choose to exercise and a choice you can make precisely because you have been given a gift. By this definition, singleness ceases to be viewed as a curse and instead something to be desired. The person given this gift is able, unlike his or her peers who burn with passion, to exercise hormonal self-control to the point where the choice to remain single or not is a viable option.
In addition, singleness—though unquestionably fraught with its own swathe of trials—offers freedom for ministry in ways not always available to those who are married. Singleness is particularly exempt from the emotional heartache often attached to marriage. Marriage not only comes with added responsibilities, but added potential for loss. Believers in Paul’s day knew this all too well. Concomitant with marriage, for instance, was the very real possibility that you might witness the cruel torture of your spouse at the behest of the Roman authorities.
In the end, the word “gift,” as it relates to singleness, takes on new meaning when seen through the spectacles of Scripture. That God has graced some with the freedom to pursue him apart from “worldly troubles” and divided interests (vv 33-34) is rightly seen as a gift from God, reminding us of another single man who, the Bible tells us, was fixed on accomplishing his father’s will (John 6:38).
Chris Bosson
posted by J. Seth Wallace @ 8:48 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
What a load of horsefeathers!
Paul is talking about a gifting enablement of celibacy not "singleness" which in most cases is purely circumstantial! (ie not enough men in our churches, nonsense teaching like this etc etc!)
Please stop promoting this false doctine of a "gift of singleness". Spreading false teaching is a very serious matter and "good intentions" aside, this really has to stop before more people are harmed by it and miss out on God's will for almost all of us ie. marriage.
You might find my blog of some interest:
www.thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com
thanks for the comment.
so, let me get this straight. When Paul (a male) says in 1 Cor 7:7 that he wishes that all were like himself (unmarried) and then in the very next sentence labels his marital status a "gift from God" he is really saying that he has been given a temporary gifting to remain celibate b/c there are not enough godly women in his midst? And when, in vs 8, he admonishes the "unmarried and widows" to remain single he is actually saying that marriage is a more lofty ideal than an undivided devotion to the Lord?
I for one prefer clarity to agreement. If i've misunderstood you, please enlighten me.
cbosson,
In verse 7, Paul merely says that he wishes that all men were as he is, but some are gifted one way and some are gifted another way. He does not specify what he means by gifted, he's merely speaking HYPOTHETICALLY as a preamble to the statement he makes in verse 8, which is that it's GOOD (not "better", as the Living Bible erroneously translated) to remain unmarried, but it's actually BETTER TO MARRY than to burn with passion.
The Living Bible (and later, The Message) mistakenly assumed that Paul was suggesting that the circumstance of his unmarried state was some kind of gift, but biblical scholars more uniformly agree that Paul was most likely referring to his capability for sexual containment (as suggested in verse 8).
As for the circumstance of being married or unmarried, the Bible almost always discusses it in terms of personal choice/responsibility, rather than divine assignment into the "married" or the "unmarried" stream. And no wonder! This business of saying "gift of singleness" or "gift of marriage" has actually made people more complacent about pursuing marriage, as if you'd be guilty of rejecting His "gift of singleness". Capt. Sensible is right: it's a false teaching.
Post a Comment
<< Home