The FamilyFrom Valley of Vision, A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

O SOVEREIGN LORD,
Thou art the creator-Father of all men, for thou hast made and dost
support them;
Thou art the special Father of those who know, love and honour thee,
who find thy yoke easy, and thy burden light,
thy work honourable,
thy commandments glorious.
But how little thy undeserved goodness has affected me!
how imperfectly have I improved my religious privileges!
how negligent have I been in doing good to others!
I am before thee in my trespasses and sins,
have mercy on me,
and may thy goodness bring me to repentance.
Help me to hate and forsake every false way,
to be attentive to my condition and character,
to bridle my tongue,
to keep my heart with all diligence,
to watch and pray against temptation,
to mortify sin,
to be concerned for the salvation of others.
O God, I cannot endure to see the destruction of my kindred.
Let those that are united to me in tender ties
be precious in thy sight and devoted to thy glory.
Sanctify and prosper my domestic devotion,
instruction, discipline, example,
that my house may be a nursery for heaven,
my church the garden of the Lord,
enriched with trees of righteousness of thy planting,
for thy glory;
Let not those of my family who are amiable, moral, attractive,
fall short of heaven at last;
Grant that the promising appearances of a tender conscience,
soft heart, the alarms and delights of thy Word,
be not finally blotted out,
but bring forth judgment unto victory in all whom I love.

The Art of Living with a Husband

It is not as easy as it looks. A wife’s commitment to her husband begins with vows but after that it is a skill to be learned and there are promises to be kept. By skill I don’t mean manipulation and a superficial kind of accommodation to some rigid rules. Biblical wisdom is skillful living. It is living life God’s way. So, in that sense a marital relationship is an art form (i.e. the practical application of a skill). It is the extraordinary opportunity for two Christians to live out the drama of redemption. There is a story that must be told, the greatest story ever told. The Son of God died on a cross so that sinners could have eternal life. Marriage is a stage upon which that wonderful truth can be lived before the world, namely, losing oneself that the other may find his or her self. I would like to offer some brush strokes to wives who wish to be instruments in the Redeemer’s hand.

Give your husband encouragement. Acknowledge his hard work, his skills, his efforts on behalf of you and the children. Are there things that he is probably doing wrong? Yes, but don’t make them the center of your attention. Your husband needs to know that you are for him, not against him. Encouraging one another plays a major role in helping our fellow Christians to grow in Christ (1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 3:13; 10:25). Wives, when was the last time you expressed appreciation to your husband for something good he has done?

Don’t allow your disappointments in your husband to make you bitter and cynical. Do we fail one another? Yes we do. It shouldn’t be that way, but it happens. But there is a way God wants us to work through our dashed expectations. Develop and maintain a frame of mind that takes disappointments and turns them into change in heart and life. Anger can be a poison if it is focused on the wrong thing. “Be angry and sin not” (Eph. 4:26). We should be angry at sin. It does awful things to the one we love. Wives, you must forgive your husband when he has sinned against you (Eph. 4:31, 32). If you don’t, you lose the opportunity to display the cross of Christ in the story of the gospel.

Determine to be joyful and maintain a sense of humor. Learn to laugh. You might want to try whistling in the kitchen. Help him to lighten-up. My wife’s laughter is one of those little joys that brighten my moments. Don’t forget. It is the joy of the Lord that is our strength (Neh. 8:10). Delighting in God creates strong, confident, discerning, and energetic marriage-builders. The joy of the Lord yields the sweet fruit of endurance. If you want a long-lasting marriage then know what it is to see your satisfaction in God spill over into all of your life.

Talk to your husband about your concerns over the drift of your marriage. Don’t keep everything to yourself. If you allow everything to stay bottled-up inside of you, something is going to break. Your husband needs information if he is to make the right decisions. Some call this “confronting.” However, that could conjure up thoughts of a verbal fight. That’s not what you are after. Wives, you will want to find the opportunity to ask some questions. Is his work taking precedence over you and the children? Is he getting his time-off breaks for fun, but you aren’t? Are you spending enough time together? We husbands need coaching in how to experience companionship.

Be conscientious about your appearance. Keep yourself attractive within the bounds of modesty, but don’t save your best appearance for those outside the home. What may be comfortable to you may not be very appealing to your husband. Don’t allow your children to take precedence over your husband. Does he know that he is important to you? Let your husband do some of the talking. Are you the one who is always carrying the conversation? Don’t talk over him, down to him, at him, and around him. Women do tend to be more verbal than men, but your husband needs to be a part of the conversation. Ask your husband questions. Some wives are naturally better at this than others, but it is never too late to learn new and good habits. Questions about his interests, hobbies, his work, his day, his aspirations, sports, the things he likes, and the things he doesn’t like. You can become more a part of his world this way. And he will learn how to ask you questions. Keep a sense of your forgiveness. A grace attitude is a disarming force. Self-righteousness and focusing on your religious accomplishments can create a partly cloudy to cloudy condition in your marriage. Both wife and husband are sinners in need of great amounts of God’s grace.

Keep yourself accountable if you work outside the home. There are temptations associated with the work place. Is it creating a loss of time with your husband? Is your affection and energy placed more on your work than upon life’s partner? Have a plan for responding biblically to your husband’s vices and failures. As Christians we are called upon to assist one another in going on to maturity. Intercessory prayer and a lot of wisdom are needed in response to your husband’s selfishness, procrastination, lack of communication, lack of spiritual discipline, and temper. Seek out an older wiser woman. Don’t live your life as a doormat and think that is submission. Don’t let another man into your soul. Watch your fantasies. If you are starved for some romance, that can easily become an unlocked door to your heart. Many women have discovered the hard way that the “other man” is a mirage. He is there but he is not there. He is not as he appears. Choose not to be a complainer and a whiner. This will make you very unattractive and it manifests a lack of satisfaction with God. Turn sorrow and suffering into something valuable. Don’t waste your suffering. Ask God to give you sure-footedness through times of difficulty (Hab. 3:19). Let Him turn those irritations into pearls. We can become our greatest adversary when pain knocks at our door. Let your children see what God wants them to be. Those little ones are going to be daddies and mommas one day. They will need to know how to love, how to submit, how to handle adversity, and what it means to be a joyful Christian. Don’t put a stumbling block in their way. Does all this mean that the wife bears the weight of marital responsibilities alone? No. The husband has his “art work” to do as well. But the wife who desires to paint a portrait of Christ’s redemptive beauty in her marriage can be an artist for the glory of God.

Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church

The Strong Woman

I have the greatest of admiration and thanks to God for the strong women in my life. But the word “strong” bears some explanation. By strong I do not mean physical muscles. I refer rather to spiritual and character muscle. A woman after God’s own heart is one who has mental, moral, and spiritual strength. Such strength is measured by a woman’s capacity to impact the lives of others for the glory of God. By God’s mercy He has brought certain women into my life who have impacted me significantly. My two grandmothers, each of whom was a believer in Jesus Christ taught me valuable life lessons. It was my mother’s mother who led my father’s mother to Christ. My grandmother Morris was a faithful evangelist. If you sat next to her on the trolley, you more than likely would hear a lot about God’s wondrous grace in Jesus Christ. When Jehovah Witnesses came to the door she grabbed up her Bible and with great eagerness shared the story of redemption in God’s eternal Son. On one occasion when it was evident that the two Watchtower representatives were unwilling to listen to the gospel any further, she stomped her foot twice on the porch and told them she was shaking the dust off of her feet because of their unbelief (Acts 13:51).

My mother is another kind of story about strength (they now call such people strong-willed). She worked her way through a lot of difficult times in her life and struggled with anger against certain men who failed her. I think I saw her beginning to yield to God’s superior strength in the last years of her life. Disappointment in some professing Christians had jaundiced my mother toward church. It took a lot of stamina to raise five sons. One of the sweetest, strongest Christian women I have ever known was my mother-in-law. She accepted me, loved the Bible, and loved God. She was kind, smiled a lot, and was always interested in what sermons I was preaching. I miss her. Mrs. McClendon gave me a daughter which I have not deserved. My dear wife, Beth, has shown me the graces of the Spirit in incalculable ways. She is a brick. That’s my ultimate accolade for a strong Christian woman. God has given me a “Mrs. Far-Above-Rubies” as my life’s companion. I am blessed. Then there is my precious, strong, Bible-loving and God-honoring daughter, Miriam. She sat through hundreds of my sermons, loves me, and continues to ask me theological and Scriptural questions. I talk to her almost every day and have received countless encouragements from her generosity, love for people, and witness for Christ. She has shown her three children the way to faith in Christ. The song in her voice is a mercy to me from God. I thank God for my daughter-in-law, Cheryl, who has brought further strength into the circle of women around me. Her infectious evangelistic spirit and the Bible instruction she gives to my three grandsons give witness to her strong confidence in God and His Word.

There is no greater portrait of a strong woman than is found in Proverbs 31:10-31. In this acrostic poem (each verse follows the order of the Hebrew alphabet) the godly and effective wife is described in memorable language. The strong woman is invaluable to her husband (31:11, 12, 23, 28). He can trust her and gives her all the freedom she needs to make decisions. She doesn’t try to manipulate him by emotions and threats. There is not another man in her soul and she delights in being her husband’s helper, unselfishly and cooperatively. She makes her husband look good. The strong woman contributes to the welfare of her children (31:15, 21, 27). They are well-fed and properly clothed. They are treated as valuable possessions and not as some penalty of pregnancy. She teaches them and makes all the necessary sacrifices for them. What a pleasure it was to have recently listened to some of the small children in our church tell of their trust in Christ for the forgiveness of sin. It was evident that some fathers and mothers have been investing time in the lives of their sons and daughters. Where would many of us be if it had not been for the Bible-truth that was woven into our lives by faithful, God-loving women? I think of the gospel witness given to me in my earliest years by my grandmothers and my Aunt Betty who, though in her middle eighties now, continues to walk through life by the light of God’s promises.

The strong woman is a wise household manager (31:18, 27). No moss grows under her feet. She has goals and works at planning for rainy days, ice storms, and hard times. She is a wise shopper and has good sense about money. A credit card is not a ticket to debt but to wise living. I was impressed how my Aunt Betty was always ready for emergencies, whether clean-up from eating in the car or injuries from playing in the woods at her house. The strong woman is sensitive to the needs of others (v. 20). She is not so wrapped up in her family that she forgets about people on the outside. Material things are not allowed to seduce her into thinking they are more precious than serving Christ. My grandmother Morris was concerned about the ice man who was making his deliveries with floppy, worn-out shoes. So she found a pair of my grandfather’s shoes and gave them to him. He carried that big block of ice on his burlap-covered shoulder a bit easier because of her kindness.

The strong woman gives appropriate attention to herself (v. 17). She cares for her body because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19, 20). Her figure and food are not allowed to become idols of the heart. She dresses for her husband, not to attract the lustful gazes of other men. The strong woman submits to God’s infinite wisdom (31:26, 30). She lives by the truth that “the fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted” (Prov. 29:25). Therefore, the godly woman is not controlled and driven by her fears but by her steady, quiet confidence in a loving, sovereign God. Who then is a strong woman? She is one who knows the Lord Jesus Christ as her Redeemer. She is in the pursuit of loving God with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. She has a ravenous appetite for the Word of God. And she sees herself as God’s servant for His glory. How blessed are those men who have the treasure of strong women written into the story of their lives.

Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church

Together for the Gospel

I cannot remember the first time I ever heard the word “gospel.” But one thing I do remember. The gospel was a part of my thinking very early in life. The gospel is everything. As has been aptly stated elsewhere, “The Gospel is the Good News of the grace of God that has provided His only-begotten Son to redeem us, return us to God, and rescue us from the terrors of hell.” Jesus Christ died and rose from the grave to save sinners (“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” 1 Tim. 1:15). There were Christians in my family and my small social world from the beginning. Thank God. We Christians are gospel people. We ought to be living it, breathing it, eating it, sleeping it, drinking it, talking about it, hearing it, and making it known everywhere.

“Together for the Gospel” was the conference theme for thousands of pastors who gathered in Louisville, Kentucky, April 26-28. Its declared purpose was “to re-center us all on this most glorious and essential message” (i.e. the Gospel). This conference goal was accomplished through messages from various speakers (Mark Dever, Ligon Duncan, C. J. Mahaney, Albert Mohler, John MacArthur, John Piper, and R.C. Sproul). Included in this recommitment to gospel declaration was a series of eighteen articles affirming what it means to be “brothers united in one great cause – to stand together for the Gospel.” We were all challenged to lead our churches in “bearing faithful witness to the glory of God and the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ” and to stand boldly against all those compromises of the Gospel that have “led to the preaching of false gospels, the seduction of many minds and movements, and the weakening of the church’s Gospel witness.”

The Bible is about the Gospel and the Gospel is all about Jesus Christ, His death, burial, and resurrection (1 Cor. 15:1-8). It is the “power of God” for our salvation from the wrath of God (Rom. 1:16). It saves us from God, for God. It is deliverance from the power of sin and death and the judgment of God which is upon “all ungodliness and unrighteousness” (Rom. 1:18). We can say that the Gospel is basically effective to produce the results God wants. That is the idea of power. It is a force with all God’s omnipotence behind it revealing God’s righteousness. As sinners we need God’s righteousness for we have none of our own. The Gospel gives the hell-deserving, sin-plagued, condemned unbeliever a righteousness from God (i.e. it puts me in right standing before God). Article XIII in the document “Together for the Gospel” states, “We affirm that the righteousness of Christ is imputed to believers by God’s decree alone, and that this righteousness, imputed to the believer through faith alone, is the only righteousness that saves.”

No quarter can be given any other Gospel than the one of Scripture. Actually, according to the apostle Paul, there is no other Gospel. When a false gospel is encountered it cannot be treated as an equal to the true Gospel. We must affirm that, “Any teaching that minimizes, denies, or confuses justification by faith alone can be considered true to the Gospel.” There is only one way to be saved from the penalty, power, and presence of sin and that is through Jesus Christ. No religion, no matter how appealing, how historical, or how popular, can be considered God-honoring if it rejects the centrality of the substitutionary character of Christ’s atonement for sin. A witches’ brew of salvation by sacraments, therapy as a substitute for theology, and neo-Gnostic, self-enlightenment has duped the masses. What is particularly disturbing in our day is not just the presence of “other gospels” but the way in which the gospel is being compromised in professing evangelical churches. Many have “suffered shipwreck in regard to their faith” (1 Tim. 1:19), due to the so-called “health and wealth” gospel, ministry as business management, and self-fulfillment in the place of true spirituality. It was Dr. Albert Mohler, in his magnificent address on culture and the gospel message, who characterized our contemporary culture as being obsessed with self-fulfillment (“am I well”), self-sufficiency, self-definition (we redefine humanity, marriage, etc.), self-absorption, self-transcendence (enamored with “spirituality”), self-enhancement (extending the life), and self-security (we think we are safe). This is a way of reminding us how the gospel is veiled to those who are perishing (2 Cor. 4:3).

The Gospel is not an elastic message. The Bible has clearly revealed the good news. God made the world and created us to serve Him. We rebelled against Him and have broken His holy law. For this act of treason we are under God’s judgment. But while we were helpless and hopeless, God sent His Son into the world. Jesus, the God-man, was perfectly obedient under God’s rule and died in our place. Christ took the punishment that we deserved in His death on the cross and brought us forgiveness. To prove this Jesus rose from the grave, conquered death, and now gives us new life and everlasting joy. This gift belongs to those who rely on Jesus’ death and resurrection and nothing else (Rom. 3:10-12; Heb. 9:27; 1 Pet. 3:18; 1:3; Jn. 3:16).

We must not and dare not be ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When Paul wrote these words to the Roman church (Rom. 1:16), Rome was contemptuous of the gospel. It was a place of intellectual snobbery. The apostle could anticipate the reaction the Gospel would receive in “the capital of the world.” But if we are ashamed of the Gospel we are ashamed of Christ. That is unacceptable for Christians. There are millions throughout the world who have no clue whatsoever as to what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is all about. That is where we come in. Let us resolve to be together for the Gospel.

Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church